...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
