The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm passing your future prison.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
