I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
