Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
