bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
