I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
