So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
