Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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