on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
