I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
