but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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