You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Barsexuality is the new black.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
