Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
