Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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