Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
