mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
