Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
