i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
