He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
