You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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