LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
