Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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