woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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