And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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