I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize