Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
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For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
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You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26