just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.