Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
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