so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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