You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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