You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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