A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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