im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
