She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
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