I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
