how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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