babies were throwing up all over the place
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
