Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
