ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
