We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
