Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I wish they made helmets for livers.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize