my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
