you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
