i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
