Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
