So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
