He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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