Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
