Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize