I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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