i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
