Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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