y did u give ur computer a hand job?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
