Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
This is classic penis vs brain.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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