But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
