News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize