called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
