even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
