Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
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I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
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So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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