I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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