Do you still have your period?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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