Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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