So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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